Archive for the 'Food & Drink' Category


A Bacon Martini?

Bacon, much like a hot dog from a street vendor, is one of those foods that I can enjoy, so long as I don’t think about it too much. The mere thought of bacon grease is enough to make me lose my appetite; the smell of bacon grease is enough to make my stomach turn; the sight of bacon grease, once it has congealed into a mass of solid fat, is enough to bring me to the verge of regurgitation. But as though all that were not revolting enough, I now have the additional thought of drinking bacon to condend with.

Some damn fool has gone and concocted a bacon martini. This may be the single most disgusting beverage of which I have ever heard. Any liquid that requires you to skim the fat off its surface should not be considered potable by anyone. If ever there were a candidate for pure liquid death, this surely must be it.

There is one plus to this, however–if I should ever have the desire to snack late at night, all I need to do is think of the bacontini and my appetite will shrivel and die, much like the arteries of anyone foolish enough to drink this god awful witch’s brew of a beverage.